Monday, January 20, 2014

Post 10.5-- Found in the Couv

Sometimes I find interesting things here.

Found: One Giant Tin Soldier (Maddy for Scale)


Found on New Westminster Quay (which, stupidly, is pronounced "key"). Comes with 1 sign that says "Largest in the World."  In need of good home. Seems irrational and unaware of surroundings. Does not respond to any of the following: Steve, John, Jake, Mike, Mohammad, Gunther, Sir, Mufasa, Hawkeye, Noot Noot Mofuga, Courtney.  Excellent mustache.

Price: By Offer. 

Found: The Fanciest Coffee Shop

Do you enjoy your coffee more when you can drink it while looking at a Gucci store across the street?  Would your dining be enhanced if you could listen to French music in a place where exactly zero people are speaking French? Are you tired of common proletariat coffeehouses with their "everyman mentality" and their "drinks under six dollars"? Look no further than Thierry, a bakery-patissierry-coffee shop just two blocks SE of the Burrard Skytrain station that proves random Google searches sometimes lead to good things.  I met up with Hosna here the other day in at $10, paint-splattered maxi dress and had never felt so alive.



In their defense, their coffee and treats were pretty good. Not to mention pretty.

Price: $17.87 for a pound of coffee. Plus 12% tax.  HAHAHA NOPE.

Found: The Ugliest Cake

I usually do okay at cooking. This is especially true with baking, as I believe I have somewhat of an emotional connection to things likes cake.  



"Hey Ames, do you think maybe you shouldn't be hugging that cake?"

"No."

"Cake understands."

But for some reason, when I tried to make Arezou a birthday cake, everything got so crazy and...you guys, I just don't know what happened:


I just feel like I owe cake such an apology.

I left my kitchen a defeated woman.

Price: No really, it's on me.

Found: One Pretty Cool Street Band

Turns out the Granville-Burrard area is a great place to be on Friday nights because of all the musicians. Fun fact: in certain places, street musicians must actually audition with the city to be able to perform in the prime spots.  I'd be mad about it except that it means the music is really good.  These guys, for example:


video

Price: Two loonies for the listen. It would have been more, but the violin player started getting smarmy.

Found: Way Too Many Gargoyles


Found in the seventh street area of New Westminster.  Something about New West being the oldest city in the province makes people think it's ok to use horrendous lawn decorations.  I'm all about creative expression but I am NOT all about these things:

BEHOLD YE THE FACE OF DEATH

There were AT LEAST TWO, and MAYBE EVEN FOUR of these things at this otherwise gorgeous house, and when I finally got home I realized I'd never noticed that my neighbor had one, too:



Which obviously means the gargoyles are following me and I don't have long to live.  Should this be my last post, know that I love you all. Also, please donate.  I promise I don't go to fancy coffee shops every day.