Monday, December 16, 2013

Post 8-- Sames and Differences: Portland and Vancouver

    Perhaps my favorite ironic thing about Vancouver is that it has a huge crush on Portland.  This is because I know (but Vancouver doesn't) that Portland also has a huge crush on Vancouver.  Seriously, you talk to a Portlander and they're all:
"Oh man, I've heard Vancouver's so progressive.
 Like they're really doing cool stuff up there. So cool."

Meanwhile, up Vancouver, they're all:
"Oh man, Portland's such a cool town. There's so much to do. It's so happening."

No seriously, they've posted these signs up all over town:

Portland is happening now? Like, my Portland? Is Portland an event now?  
Was it not happening before? Like at any point in time, 
Portland may or may not be occurring? Wow, so hip. 


Well, December marks five months since my arrival in Vancouver, which means I've had plenty of time to observe this wonderful place, to experience several different aspects of the culture, and to come to the paradigm-shattering conclusion that Canada and America are not actually that different. Trust me.  I'm pretty sure I'm an expert.

HOWEVER.  There are some distinctions I'd be remiss to leave out.  Canada is definitely a different country (even if I forget it sometimes).  So, as one of Canada's bloggers-in-residence, I thought I'd lay down some sick facts for you all. Here goes:

Sames and Differences in Vancouver and Portland

I know "sames" is not a word.  This is my blog, fools.

Same #1--The Climate.

All my Pacific Northwesters will feel me here.  You know that feeling you get in early October?  That feeling that says, "Wow, it sure has been beautiful for the last four months.  I really live in a beautiful place.  Why do I have this horrible sense of dread that I might never see sunlight again?"  Yeah, we have that here, too.



Difference #1-- The Response to the Climate.

Here's the difference

Vancouver: "Wow, it sure is rainy!"

Portland: "Wow, it sure is--ackplh! Sweet mother of wharrgarbl"

Portlanders, how long must we fight?  Invest in an umbrella.

Same #2--The Public Transit.

Where Portland has the MAX, Vancouver has the SkyTrain.  The pros are the same: cheap, reliable travel and less money towards ExxonMobile. The cons are also the same: Waiting in the rain, doubled travel time, and lots and lots of people asking for your spare change.

Difference #2--The Languages on Public Transit.

The SkyTrain is, in my opinion, the best place to experience the cultural mosaic that is Vancouver.  Over half the population of this city has immigrated from other countries, which means "What Language is My Neighbor Speaking?" is the most-played game in the metro area (closely followed by "Muslim or Nun?" It's surprisingly hard to tell from a distance.)  IT'S SO AWESOME.

Same #3--The Donuts

VS


Voodoo Donuts and Tim Hortons are so different that it's useless to try and pit them against each other in competition.  But someday, I hope someone does.  And I hope it's me. And that I get to be the judge.

Difference #3--The Coffee.

PORTLAND'S IS BETTER AND I'M NOT SORRY.




Same #4--The Groceries

Five months here and I'm still not sure if there's such a thing as authentic Canadian food.  Everything seems basically the same.  The only exception is poutine, which looks like this and is not so tasty:


Difference #4--The Prices

I, like every visiting American I know, had heard that Vancouver was expensive and had said, "well, that sucks, but it can't be that bad."  Until I actually went to my local Safeway:


Wait...Wait, is that...eight bucks for milk?

TEN bucks for cereal??

TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS FOR CUBED CHEESE???

AND ALSO THERE'S A 12% TAX ON EVERYTHING???

I realized I may have some deep-seated miserly qualities when I kept leaving grocery stores in fits of rage.


I'm still working on this.

Same #5--The Gluten-Free Options.

I'm usually not gluten-free, but some people I love are (in the actual, don't-give-them-gluten-or-they'll-die kind of way), so it makes me very happy that there are a lot of different options in both of my cities for the bread-impaired.  When the Boyfriend came to visit, we got to spend an evening ranking the local gluten-free treats in terms of taste, texture, and how bad we felt about ourselves afterwards:
The donuts won. At everything.

Difference #5--The Jingling.

Canada uses coins exclusively for both $1 and $2 amounts, which means a handful of change is actually a substantial of money (visitors: please, PLEASE remember this before handing all your change away in one go):

This, for example, could probably pay my entire phone bill. Not a joke.

The vast amount of change in everyone's pockets means that Canadians are, in my opinion, the Jingly-est people on the planet.  This is great news for me when I am running to catch a bus (everyone knows I'm coming), and bad news for the ninja community, who I've heard are having a hard time remaining incognito.  Thank goodness Canada got rid of pennies, or they might be completely extinct.

Difference #6--What? No Pennies?

No pennies!! The government was spending way more that one cent to create each penny, so they just decided to get rid of them.  So how do they still use prices like $9.96 or $4.47? Get this: they just ROUND TO THE NEAREST NUMBER! Like if something costs 9.99, you pay exactly $10.00 and get no change back, but if it costs $9.96, you just pay $9.95 and call it even!  And apparently, everything evens out and no one is upset about it?

I do not know why this is so fascinating to me, but it really, really is.



So there you have it, my pretties, 5 Sames and 6 Differences between these two cities that I love.  Have you noticed any more?  Leave me a comment!

Also, please consider donating.  You saw those grocery prices.

You are all God's gifts to me.  Such love,

Ames.

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